FROM DEPRESSED TO BLESSED:CREATING A DREAM BUSINESS WHILE COPING WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS
Three years ago, in this exact month, I was released from a mental health facility. I had been in the behavioral health/psychiatric ward for a month for trying to commit suicide by a car on the west side of Chicago. I was 8 months pregnant, had no job, my relationships with friends and family weren’t the best and I had given up all hope at that point. Months before, I had suffered from thoughts of anger, pain, disappointment, and death. Even with a gift from God growing inside me (my son), I still had nothing but negativity and self-hatred boiling through my veins. After trying to take my own life and being stripped of all my confidence and pride when my family found out, I was admitted immediately into the psychiatric ward, where it was there that I thank God, daily, for my second chance at life. After a month of those dark, cold, and lonely days, I walked out with warrior wounds that drove me to a selfish and unwavering boss babe mindset that empowered me to recreate, redevelop, and reinvent my brand, my life, and my goals.
It was not easy creating this new lifestyle for myself and honestly, I still struggle with my depression. Just recently this year I was diagnosed with bipolar manic depression. Most people would’ve taken that as a sign of sadness but I felt liberated. I finally had an answer to my issue and I knew how to get past my mental problems. It was a long, long, long, road to this success and I’m here to tell my story.
The day I walked out of that facility, I had a plan and a purpose. My plan was to obtain EVERY SINGLE goal I had. But in doing so, I needed an action plan. I knew that I would have to deal with constant issues of my mental health and I knew that there would be days that I just could not and would not get out of the bed because of my illness. I had to create an action plan that was 100% depression-proof and 100% excuse-proof. I had been at the lowest of lows and I knew I NEVER wanted to go back to that state ever again. I knew I loved myself and had a son who needed a mother with him at all stages of his life. I knew for me to achieve my goals I had to get up off my butt and start that business, work my butt off, save the money up to invest in myself, and build an empire that people could admire. And there it was clear as day! A plan. It came to me one night as I found myself crying myself to sleep.
ACHIEVE. BELIEVE. RECEIVE.
If you want to achieve a dream, you must believe in yourself and be selfish in your determination to receive that dream.
What this meant to me was, If I have a dream to be that true role model, then I had to believe that I could be “her” and selfishly let go of things or people who weren't allowing me to get to the goal of becoming “her”. I had to only care about my goals and my happiness and not worry about what others were thinking and what others “wanted” me to do. I had a bigger goal for myself and I had to get that goal by any means necessary.
That meant getting rid of friends and family who didn’t support me. That meant getting rid of my negative thinking and doubts about myself. That meant focusing on nothing else but what brings me positivity and empowerment. Nothing meant more to me than to have my businesses succeed and my personal life aligned with all my goals.
I found a vision and purpose in my life and that was to lead with a mission and not by sight.
LEAD WITH A MISSION AND NOT BY SIGHT
Don’t focus on just what you see is a success. Focus and obtain truly what it means to be a success. I realized that all the things that put me down were the fact that I physically couldn’t SEE my success. I had an idea that if I don’t have a car, a nice purse, a nice phone, or outfit that I was not successful. Instead, I began to realize that success doesn’t depend on numbers or society, success depends on YOU!!!!! You are the measure of your success. Not society. Not social media. Not these companies who tell you that you’re not keeping up with the “trend” if you don’t have their latest product. It’s impossible to “keep up with the Joneses”. How can I be a keep up with the Joneses if my last name is not even Jones? It’s IMPOSSIBLE!!!! Leading with a mission requires you to be you, love you, and own everything about you. As bad and hard as my depression was, I had to do something. I began to argue internally with myself EVERY TIME a negative thought popped up.
Me: How will I do this? I’m so overwhelmed. I don’t have enough time. No one will buy from me. No one will support me.
New Me: Create a plan. Schedule task in your planner. Set reminders. Be realistic with yourself to obtain this goal. Don’t worry about who will buy from you. The right person will see your brand and love everything about it. No one has to support you but you. As long as you got you, that’s all that matters.
I did this constantly with myself. No one was taking or stealing the joy I brought to myself and I knew I was worth it. I knew what my brand had to offer to people and it was something I was passionate about and loved. I had created something I fell in love with. It didn’t matter if I didn’t please or intrigue everyone. I am doing what I said I wanted to do a long time ago and no one can stop that.
Suddenly I began to receive an abundance of orders, followers, and other women telling me how I inspire and encourage them. How did I come from depressed to blessed so quickly? Are these women really telling the truth? Are my eyes deceiving me? NO! I really did receive my dream. I really did achieve this goal of inner peace and happiness. I really did believe in myself and begin to produce greatness. I put my heart, soul, sweat, and tears into my businesses and by grinding hard, focusing on omitting out the negative thinking, I gained a new meaning to life and my business.
Here I am today, owner of three businesses, a mentor, a proud mom, and survivor of suicide and severe depression. In 2017, I began to empower, uplift, and motivate other women to achieve, believe, and receive their life goals. I work with women of all walks of life to grab their business by the horns and ride that bad boy all the way till the wheels fall off. It’s not about giving up. It’s not about having doubts. It’s not about listening to those naysayers and negative thoughts. It’s about wanting personal success so badly that you do nothing but execute plans to achieve it. In that belief, you receive every blessing you dreamed of and then some. I told myself to never give up my daydream and here I am now, three years later. Living my dream and walking in my purpose.